Taxi!

In Mel's Musings, Travel
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Today I’m having a crisis of confidence. I feel like I’m in that late stage of labour and I’ve changed my mind – I actually don’t want to have this child thank you very much and could someone please call a taxi to take me home!

I’m sure my crisis of confidence is exacerbated by the fact that I haven’t been sleeping well, but at 2 am I was filing through every possible worst case scenario. We’ve had such an easy, lovely, familiar start to our journey that has just felt like being on school holidays. Lots of time with beautiful friends and family (and our beloved dog!) to ease us on our way. I think my moment of fear today stems from – surprise surprise – my daughters.

This trip is something that Matt and I decided would be wonderful. It would be truly educational for the girls and a binding family experience. They didn’t get a say. The haven’t had a choice, and although I acknowledge that it’s too big for them to really understand, the fact is that we have taken them away from what they know and love, to be in places that are unfamiliar and generally very different from anything they have known. Intellectually of course I know that these experiences will build resilience and probably have a positive impact overall. Today though, the responsibility weighs heavily.

“Where are we going to sleep tomorrow night Mum?”  Does she feel lost and unsettled already, not knowing where she will next lay her head? “Can we stay at our cousin’s house for ages?” Does she just want to be with familiar people and toys because she doesn’t want to go somewhere new again? I could drive myself mad!

I look out the window at the three of them playing very contentedly with sticks and fern fronds and know that they will make their own fun wherever they are. I also know that home is really where we are together and not just the weather boards that kept us dry in Melbourne. The girls will be ok and I actually don’t really want the taxi to come and take me away.

I do feel the weight of responsibility however, but I’m sure it won’t be the last time. Hopefully they will look back and be grateful for the experience.

10 Comments

  1. Only 2 weeks ago, Tilda (7) was in the cattle yards, pushing cattle up the race for Jo and I to pregnancy test and ear mark the moo’s. Two truck drivers hanging over the fence watching in amazement. Lois (5) was in the red dirt with a stick trying to dig up old horse shoes and Nell ( not yet 3) was trying to catch tadpoles in the cattle trough. All were so happy ( especially because we were meant to be doing our school of the air school lesson)..
    The red dirt country where we called home now has a vacant house and the kids biggest concern is how we are going to fit the two dogs, two cats and now the 7 chooks in the car.
    My biggest concern is that the number of chooks have increased from 3 special feathery friends to 7 within two days. Tomorrow we may be up to 11 chooks I suppose.
    Home is always where the heart is, and the reason for change like this, is to strengthen the heart. But the mind and soul is also expanded.
    Adventure time oxo.

    • Thank you my friend! Hope you managed to fit the 23 chooks in and that none of them turned out to be roosters! Good luck on your adventures too. Lots a luv x

  2. As Leunig once said, “just keep going, just keep going”. Sending love & hugs. xx

  3. Remind the girls that all the other little people are now back at school..that might make them feel lucky!!

  4. I have this theory that children live in the moment. For example, when two friends reunite from school holidays they don’t say, “how was your holiday?”; and spend 20 minutes describing what they did, no matter what amazing things they may have seen. More likely its, “lets go to the monkey bars”. Mostly adults are guided by responsibility, reflecting on the past and planning the future. It is harder to stop and live in the moment. It will be interesting to travel with children and see the trip from their point of view. What will they really miss? What will they remember?

    • Very true Rel. Thanks for the wise words – I shall endeavour to remember them!

  5. You and Matt are their rocks. Worry less. Go forth with faith and exuberance. We are all behind you.

  6. I am sitting under at tree in Broome with Michael and Christine and soon to board our plane home -reading your blog and feeling how wonderfull it is that you are doing what you are doing!! What a wonderful experience for your girls. Never doubt it is good for them it is !!!! And such a great thing to do as a family. Happy travels !

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