Leaving on a jet plane

In Mel's Musings, Travel
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Is it too much do you think? It certainly feels like it. Although there is five of us and we are going for quite some time. Summer and winter. Tropics and tundra. I have already accepted that us moving anywhere as a unit in transit is going to be a circus, so I’m mentally prepared. And I’ve had some experience. Grocery shopping with the girls when they were little – 3 under five years old – with a wonky-wheeled trolley, a dirty nappy, all hungry and tired, me sleep deprived and asking myself “why is this so hard, I’m just grocery shopping?” I do believe that was good training for moving the 5 of us and all that baggage through Dili Airport to our hostel without bursting into tears.

We will have to remember to stop when we get to the doors opening onto the hubbub and absorb the moment. The smell. The sounds. The touts wanting our business.

Matt and I had a giggle earlier this evening, savouring our last Australian beer on Australian soil for a while. “We’re in it! That thing we’ve been talking about and planning for so long – we’re in the middle of it.” Funny. I thought I would feel different but I feel really normal.

4 hours later…..

Ok. It’s now 3.30am. The taxi arrives in 20 minutes. I have hardly slept and I’m not feeling so normal anymore. I’m shitting myself frankly. My guts are churning and I can’t swallow my tea. When I did sleep I dreamt of worst case scenarios and, once again, I want to run away, or hide under the covers and cry. But right now I am in that place that Matt was talking about. I am so far out of my comfort zone and it feels very uncomfortable and scary. I know that’s part of the point. I’m trying not to let the girls see my turmoil, but I fear they’re like animals – they can smell fear! So onwards Mel. Brush your teeth, do your nervous poo and show them what you’re made of.

Thanks for being there. See you all on the flip side!

10 Comments

  1. I feel nervous for you. It’s the same nervous feeling I get when we’re about to embark on any adventure with the kids. This is just time a million. Just pretend you’re going for two weeks. Two weeks at a time. Good luck! We are all waiting with with bated breath.

  2. You were made for this Mel, suck it up princess and go forth. Besides how do you think I feel, I’ve just been savaged by mangrove sandflies on the outskirts of Pt Douglas… Where you’re going is a cakewalk by comparison.. XX

  3. Some spiritual handholding is happening from my side, dear Mel. All normal stuff, though of course VERY uncomfortable.

  4. It’s called courage Mel, just doing what you have to do despite the fear. You are all in my heart and in my head………..all the time

  5. imagine that smell when you get to Dili, sort of a mix of open drains and food cooking. the weather will be warm, the locals will be smiling, you will be struck by the look of the city and as you drive in you will wonder if you are getting charged too much for the taxi. you will wake up in a new city, and you will all walk along the street and wonder what locals eat for brekky here, probably not weetbix. there will be markets with fruit lying on the footpath and meat and fish on tables. the girls will stare at the locals, and you will have to remind them not too stare too long. ahhhhh……bloody brilliant.

  6. Hugs coming your way Mel! Carpe Diem my friend … You’re doing it! Sarah x

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